"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."

I had moved slowly from the middle of the room to the back row of warm desks exposed to the sun pouring in from the large open awning windows that ran along the side of the ancient hardwood classroom. The 5th and 6th year seniors; facial hair, neck tattoos, kids, and prison records, that usually sat there weren’t in class today, probably drunk in the park after sharing bottles at lunch. They would light the back of your hair on fire in class and when you finally smelled it and turned around, they would just stare ahead expressionless or, look at you and say "what!!" then laugh hysterically after you turned back around.
My friend Ronnie was already sitting in the sun hunched over his desk intently scribbling, stopping only to blankly stare out the window for a second, envisioning some random thought floating past, then intently scribble again, stoned.
Ronnie always sat there, Ronnie was a small and wiry freshman but his brother had been one of the veteranos, one of the few that made out good. Ronnie’s brother was a PE teacher at the Jr. High and all the kids in the neighborhood loved him. Ronnie’s Brother still drank in the park on Sunday afternoons, listening to the oldies with the older men. He was married to a woman he met in college, some banker or, accountant or something. Ronnie's father and uncles had been in the gangs as well, so nobody ever touched him and every body wanted to be his friend, the cool thing about Ronnie was that he didn't see it, but I did.
Ms. Meyers was at the front of the room spouting something about "the bards eternal solace of wisdom, blah, blah," something about "two paths diverging, blah, blah" on and on " Blah , Blah, Blah".
I could see Maricel and Victoria slowly moving down the hill that ran up behind the football field; everything else began to fade out. The hill was a safe place to get stoned because by the time any of the fat ass! Security guards dragged their fat asses! Up the hill no matter what you were doing before, by the time they got to the top, you were ‘straight’. I could tell who it was because; there were only a hand full of girls that wore those immaculate full length creamy white knit sweaters. The sweaters swinging as they laughed and screamed, trying to hold themselves up, and make the other one fall as they made their way down the hill, baby blue ribbons in the temple of their large curly Mexican hair, perfectly cuffed 501s and immaculate white converse with the fat blue laces. Maricel was pretty but she was tough, we had 2nd hour together and I think she liked me at the beginning of the year but, after awhile I just felt like she wanted to sock me in the eye every time she saw me. Victoria was immaculate, and she would probably have a baby that way years later, she moved in and out of circles that I could not touch, writing for the school paper and yearbook. Victoria was on the Varsity cheer squad, but she still walked home with all the kids from the Coronado Street neighborhood. Maricel and Victoria stopped and talked to the freshman JV cheer squad as they were sitting around being stupid and self important in the corner of the track field. I watched as they slowly made their way down the fenceline to the back of the school. Victoria was larger than life to me but we had talked directly only once, at the park on a 'finals' half-day. I try to remember that she was speaking to me, but I was smoking and she was laughing in my group of friends. I don’t remember a word she said, but it’s hard when your trying to act casual and at the same time straining to hear every word. I remember I was struck by how small and delicate her warm brown features were, her eyes were large and her smile was perfect. She had gotten her braces off during the summer but she still tilted her head and looked down when she couldn't control her laughter. Her voice was soft, and delicate and floated in the air, it caused people to lean forward when she spoke and created an intimacy like there was no one else around.
Ronnie took his pencil and hit my knuckles hard! Ms. Myers had been calling my name but had moved on. She was old and at first it had been a test of wills to get me to speak to her, but half way through the year we had not said one word to each other. She would call roll and I wouldn't answer, but after a few weeks no one in the class would answer so she just gave up. I had felt insulted after the first day of class she sent me to the office thinking that I didn’t belong because my name wasn’t on the roll. I think it had more to do with the white t-shirt and cuffed and creased dickies. It was an honors English class for the freshmen so most of us showed up anyway, Ronnie had a bunch of these honors classes but, this English class was my only one.
Then it happened, Maricel and Victoria moved by the window smiling, Maricel was speaking in this beautiful staccato Spanish talking with her hands and oblivious to the class. Victoria was looking in the windows and I felt that she looked at me and waved. I was leaning back in my chair trying hard to look bored without falling back, because that would have been the stupidest thing any kid could do. But when I felt she waved at me I tried hard not to show my surprise. I would have waved backed but she and Ronnie were friends and she might have been waving to him. And the second stupidest thing a kid can do is wave to somebody that is waving at someone other than you, so I kind of smiled and nodded a little. Then it happened, as Victoria walked by the open window I could hear her voice clear and distinct from the teachers blah blah blahing, and the sound of Maricel in the background, she looked at Ronnie flashed him the A hand sign for the Coronado street Aztecas "Oye! Chavalo?" and then before she moved past the window said "Hey Ronnie whose your friend? He’s cute"

…who’s your friend he’s cute?

Angel, Victoria, swinging warm brown, laughing, shiny Immaculate, ditching class and probably stoned.

The bell rang and my stunned silence was shaken by a world roared to life, just as it was about to fade away gray. Ms. Myers screamed out assignments struggling to be heard over the sudden chaos, but this new world was quickly fading and discernable to me. It filled with a haze that muted the colors and pushed me cold and suddenly self conscious spilling into the angry hallway. I pushed my chin into my chest, my legs seemed long and my feet very small. Forcing the chaos to move slow and slide away from me, the whole world began to tilt and I had to walk with my arms straight at my side fists pushed tight into my pockets leaning way over, just so I wouldn't fall.